How to Develop Confidence in Yourself

By Dr. Jack Singer

Do you struggle with doubts that hold you back from reaching your dreams? Are you timid in situations that may present roadblocks to your success? Instead of settling for a mediocre life, learn a few simple strategies that will help you to feel confident in every situation. Confidence in your talents and abilities is closer than you think. You were created for a purpose, and you’re the only one who can fulfill that purpose.

Each one of us has a lot to offer the world. All you need is to discover the passion inside of you and agree to leave your comfort zone in favor of a life filled with joy.

Try these tips to begin developing self-confidence today:

1. Get to know yourself better. And be VERY HONEST with yourself. One big obstacle that holds you back from living the life you deserve is often a lack of knowledge of who you are. Sit down with a pen and paper, and ask yourself these questions:

  • What would you dare to attempt if you knew it was impossible for you to fail?
  • What are your dreams? What did you dream about doing and becoming as a child? What have you always wanted to attempt?
  • What are your talents? What do your friends and family say you’re good at? What abilities have you received compliments on?
  • What are your soft skills? What are your hard skills? And where can you use these skills to help yourself and serve your family, friends and community?
  • What are you excited about in your life right now? What’s great about your life?
  • What area or areas of your life do you wish to improve? What steps can you take to improve those areas? Whose help could you enlist?

When you begin to get clear on who you are, what’s important to you, and where you’re headed, you’ll begin to feel empowered and in control of your destiny. This confidence seeps into every area of your life. Allow your passions to fuel your confidence and stir you to action that will move you forward in the direction of your dreams.

2. Fake it. One of the quickest ways to gain confidence is to pretend you’re confident already. It may seem silly at first, but if you begin to move your body and speak like you would if you were confident, you’ll quickly gain self-confidence.
 If you find yourself walking around most of the time with slumped shoulders and looking at the cracks in the sidewalk, you are not feeling or behaving in a confident manner.

  • How fast does a confident person speak?
  • At what volume does he or she speak?
  • How does he or she gesture with his or her hands?
  • How fast does he or she walk?
  • How does he or she move his or her body body?

Pretend you’re confident by moving your body in confident ways. Your emotions will follow the movement of your body.

3. Learn from someone who’s already successful. Confidence breeds success. As you accomplish the things you set out to achieve, your confidence in your abilities will grow. You can experience this increasing confidence by trial and error. Or, you can shorten the learning curve dramatically through a mentor.

  • Find the person who’s the best at what you’re trying to accomplish. Approach that person and ask them to show you the ropes. Ask them to show you how they arrived at their success and how they maintain it. With a mentor, your chances of success increase dramatically, thereby strengthening your confidence.

Confidence in yourself and your abilities is within your reach. Starting today, you can begin to feel the ease that comes from faith in your own abilities and talents. By applying these three strategies today, you can take seemingly small steps that lead to a giant reward. Increase your confidence and begin to experience the successful life you deserve.

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(3) comments

Mike June 7, 2012

“Fake It!” I agree 100%. We tend to not do things because of the fear of rejection. When we are “acting” it is easier for us to think “they aren’t really rejecting me… because this ins’t who I am.” Then, when we actually begin doing the thing we want to, as you have stated, we become more confident.
Nice post.

Melissa November 28, 2012

I’m a sophomore in high school, and I’m working on a research project for my health class about the psychological effects of sports injuries. This post was very helpful to me when writing about the loss of confidence after a sports injury, because I was able to write a few helpful tips to regaining confidence after an injury. If you have any tips specific to regaining confidence after sports injuries, they’d be greatly appreciated!

Dr. Jack Singer March 23, 2013

Hi Melissa:

Thanks for your comment and I regret not seeing it before. Hopefully, you got a good grade on that paper and perhaps you will pursue the field of Sport Psychology! Good luck in following your dream.

Dr. Jack

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